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Sacre Bleu. Reds fight the blues. Department S versus Dad’s Army. Henry against Senderos. Okay, the last one isn’t the stuff that causes the licking of lips, admittedly.

First half.Neither nowt nor summat, that. I think Shearer phrased it best. “Lethargic.” Some dodgy refereeing decisions from the Ruskie (although, I think he was bang on with regard to the penalty shout – it was ball-to-hand rather than hand-to-ball). Some dreadful missed chances (nice to see Old Baldy as reliably flappable as ever). And, frankly, for quite disgracefully o-t-t arse-licking by Guy Mowbray over Henry and Zidane with very little reason for either to be arse-licked on this particular occasion.

I must say, I was mildly impressed with the Swiss. Neat, organised. Nothing special but probably slightly the better side in, let’s repeat it, a hugely disappointing first half and very definitely the better side in an only slightly less disappointing second. That Philipp Degen’s a big lad, isn’t he? Looks like the kind of guy you wouldn’t want to run into in some dark Basle alley. Especially if your first question was to ask him about ‘Young Boys’. Maybe that’s why he nutted Henry in the mush.

You could see the French all looking each other and asking the same question: The whole performance, and indeed the whole “feel” of the day can be summed up in one word: Lazy. When you saw the French arguing among themselves you kind of knew it wasn’t going to be their day. if that shot in the last minute had gone in it would have been not only a huge injustice but a tiny elastoplast on a raw and open wound.

So, that really does put England vs The Para-Gays into perspective. Because Monsieur Domenech most definitely WILL get crucified by the French press in a Sven-stylee tomorrow. If four years ago was crépuscule des dieux then this tournament may just be bonne nuit et au revoir.
 

 

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